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"Turn around, we'regoing to the bathroom first!" I gave her a quizzical look and tilted myhead in confusion. "Look at your legs!" Abbie explained, pointing towardsmy thighs, "and under your arms." I looked under my arms, still none thewiser as to what she was getting at. "Do you think Alice has hairy legsand armpits? Besides, your chest is well overdue a waxing and we might aswell do it all at the same time!" It suddenly dawned on me what Abbie wasplanning. Once again I began to open my mouth to complain, but thoughtbetter of it and caught myself this time before she had to raise hereyebrow again.I was used to getting my chest waxed, and whilst it always stung a littleAbbie and I had refined the process and soon my chest was hairless again,her hands dancing over my smooth skin rubbing in moisturiser and givingmy nipples a playful tickle. The armpit waxing was awkward and acutelypainful but mercifully short. I wish I could have said the same for thelegs."Ow!" I yelled again as Abbie. "Likepeople who voted for Brexit or are thinking of voting for Donald Trump.They have this complex whereby whatever they say and do is alwaysjustified, always right, and are deliberately ignorant of what the restof the world says. Especially the way other people feel! Most of them arejust plain divorced from reality. I'd go so far as to call a lot of themwalking violations of common sense. And they will never, ever accept thatthey're wrong. What they wanted from the two of you was an apology, anacknowledgement that you're 'wrong' and they're 'right', because in theirworld, their opinions are the only ones that matter." ...Ever thought of running for parliament?" I ask my father, whoresponds, as always, by hurling a cushion at my face."If only," dad snorts. "Still worried about that little girl- your niece,I suppose. Gonna have a few sleepless nights thinking about her future." She might turn out to be like her aunt," I shrug, making Ophelia grin."If she's really, really lucky," dad.
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